Self-realization – What do I really want?

10 min reading time | published on: 20.08.2024

More and more people are looking for ways to realize themselves in order to lead a self-determined, authentic and fulfilling life. But what does it mean to realize yourself? What does C.G. Jung mean when he says that the privilege of life is to “become who you really are”?  Who are you really?

What is self-realization? What is the difference between personal self-realization and self-realization from a spiritual perspective?

These and other questions about self-realization are addressed in this article and are intended to give you inspiration and food for thought.

You may also be interested in our article on the topic Find inner peace.

What is self-realization?

In modern parlance, self-actualization means finding out what is important to you in life, what makes you happy, what skills you have and what relationships enrich you. You often realize that these goals and plans do not necessarily fit with the roles you have taken on in society. Self-actualization on a personal level describes a process of individuation in which you become clear about what your values ​​are and how you can bring them into the world.

In individuation, it is an important step to free yourself from the beliefs you have adopted from society, your parents and other sources and at least to check whether they are useful to you on your path to self-discovery.

The process of individuation also means developing yourself as a unique individual. It is important to accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses, as it is above all our weak points that we learn and grow from. Accepting yourself, with all your possibilities and challenges, is an important quality that can be developed in the process of individuation.

C.G. Jung first described this process of “individuation” in 1928 as “self-realization” or “self-actualization”. We also want to look at the term self-actualization from a spiritual perspective. In a nutshell, this means recognizing or realizing your true self. This of course raises the question of what your true self really is?

Self-actualization according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and the (often) forgotten element

In psychology, Abraham Maslow, along with C.G. Jung, coined the term self-actualization and popularized it through his hierarchy of needs, first placing it at the very top of the hierarchy of needs he postulated.

Doch Maslow fügte vor seinem Tod im Jahr 1970 noch weitere Dimensionen (z.B. die Transzendenz) zu seiner Bedürfnispyramide hinzu, was oft übersehen wird. Diese Ergänzung hat er in einem Buch veröffentlicht und, obwohl das Erscheinungsdatum bekannt ist, wird die Pyramide in der Literatur meist noch in der älteren Version dargestellt – also mit dem Bedürfnis der Selbstverwirklichung an der Spitze, nicht mit dem der Transzendenz.

The term transcendence, which is derived from the Latin verb transcendere, which means “to exceed”, describes the state in which a person exceeds the limits of their known world and touches the impersonal or super-personal within themselves. While we initially understand self-actualization in a more personal sense, self-transcendence is about finding a state of being within yourself that goes beyond ego-like development.

In his hierarchy of needs, Maslow describes different levels of needs that are listed in a hierarchy and develop from rudimentary, lower needs to a higher hierarchy of needs. He says that the lower need must be fulfilled in order to be able to ascend to higher levels. The list of these needs is: physiological needs, security needs, social needs, individual needs, cognitive needs, aesthetic needs, self-actualization and transcendence.

Since this article is about a closer look at the two highest levels of self-realization and transcendence, the lower levels are only named and not further explained.

The term transcendence, which is derived from the Latin verb transcendere, which means “to exceed”, describes the state in which a person exceeds the limits of their known world and touches the impersonal or super-personal within themselves. While we initially understand self-actualization in a more personal sense, self-transcendence is about finding a state of being within yourself that goes beyond ego-like development.

In his hierarchy of needs, Maslow describes different levels of needs that are listed in a hierarchy and develop from rudimentary, lower needs to a higher hierarchy of needs. He says that the lower need must be fulfilled in order to be able to ascend to higher levels. The list of these needs is: physiological needs, security needs, social needs, individual needs, cognitive needs, aesthetic needs, self-actualization and transcendence.

Since this article is about a closer look at the two highest levels of self-realization and transcendence, the lower levels are only named and not further explained.

The Birth of the Lion

from OM C. Parkin

OM C. Parkin confronts the reader directly with the essential question: Who is that ‘I’ to which we relate the happiness and unhappiness of our lives, our past, present and future? With his unerringly clear view of the structures of suffering in people as well as of what remains untouched by them, OM, together with the questioners, penetrates this closed and thus separated world of identification with an ego.

Self-realization & self-development – How do I develop my potential?

Now let us consider – according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the seventh element – self-actualization. The term self-actualization, in our usual understanding, means a process in which we question our adaptation to internal and external norms and find out what we want to express and achieve in life. This act of adaptation arises from our childlike desire to survive, to belong, to be loved. But those who want to develop as a human being need to be willing to go beyond this first and powerful motivation and thus also to face the fear of being alone.

Self-actualization may mean something different for each of us and it may manifest itself in different ways. Perhaps we first think of a career change when it comes to self-actualization and can actively ask ourselves the questions:

• What gives me joy and what am I good at?
• What suits my personality?
• Who can I help with my experiences and knowledge?
• What gives me meaning and satisfaction?

It is essential to see self-realization not only on a professional level, but more comprehensively and in relation to our entire lifestyle. How do I want to live relationships? How do I want to shape my life in general? Where do I want to give my attention and life force? These questions free us from automatic decisions that we make as a result of unconscious conditioning and imprinting. Basically, we can view self-realization on this level as a process of self-development.

If you are interested in the fundamental driving forces in the mind, also read the articles on the three fixed basic forces in the Enneagram: anger, Fear und unfulfilled love

Since this is still about our egoistic needs, which means nothing other than expanding, beautifying and strengthening the world of our ego, the – often unconscious – motives of striving, self-improvement, the eternal search without finding are at work here. We are driven by the questions: Where do I want to develop? What do I want to achieve?

The central question, however, „Who am I?“ can only emerge when we begin to become interested in the level of transcendence.

Nan Yar? Who am I?

from Sri Ramana Maharshi

This work is one of the only two prose pieces among Ramana Maharshi’s communications in his own words. They clearly represent the central teaching that self-enquiry is the direct path to liberation. The particular manner in which the enquiry should be carried out is clearly explained in “Nan Yar?”.

Transcendence – self-realization from a spiritual perspective.

Transcendence contains a deeper, more comprehensive potential for self-realization. Count Dürckheim, a 20th century Zen master, made the following statement on this: “Spirituality is transparency to the immanent transcendent.” This is not easy to understand at first and we will take a closer look at this statement:

It refers to the idea that spirituality creates a connection to the transcendent that exists within ourselves (immanent) and beyond our known identity (transcendent). It is about reaching a deeper level of consciousness or existence that goes beyond our survival instinct and pleasure and creates a connection to spiritual reality.

The Birth of the Lion

from OM C. Parkin

OM C. Parkin confronts the reader directly with the essential question: Who is that ‘I’ to which we relate the happiness and unhappiness of our lives, our past, present and future? With his unerringly clear view of the structures of suffering in people as well as of what remains untouched by them, OM, together with the questioners, penetrates this closed and thus separated world of identification with an ego.

Our suffering cannot be ended by personal self-development, because the freedom we seek cannot be found in unlimited self-development, but only in the depths of our self. Self-realization in the spiritual sense is another term for self-knowledge or self-realization.

The following is an interesting quote from the mystic and wisdom teacher OM C. Parkin, which explains the tension between personal self-realization (here called development) and self-realization from a spiritual perspective (here called realization of the self):

The realization of the self is the end of becoming. Something develops, but not YOU. YOU do not develop. The attempt to become perfect is this tragic identification with development. When you realize that YOU are not developing, that YOU ARE what you were before the body was born and are what YOU will always be, namely the SELF; Being – Consciousness – Bliss, then development takes place in YOU, just as the body and people take place in YOU and everything that appears takes place in YOU, but it does not touch you.
OM C. Parkin, The Birth of the Lion, p. 292

A person who has realized his true self or is on the way to it is still developing on a relative level. But what constitutes his true self, or what he really is, remains untouched by development. This is the source of all being, the freedom of the soul, which the great teachers such as Buddha, Jesus Christ and others pointed out long ago.

The question: What is it that you really want?

In order to find an answer to this question from an inner perspective, we have to go deep. For many people, it may be enough to just remember their own will and ask themselves what I want in life.

The question of what I really want leads to a deeper level of our longing, our motivation for this life. There are many wishes and drives that lead us in different directions and sometimes contradict each other. But there is only one “root desire”. When this deep desire is ignited within us, we will question and even give up personal goals of self-realization, as our inner values ​​naturally realign. Self-realization from a spiritual perspective is described by many wise men and teachers as the true meaning of human existence. That is what we really want deep down.

In the following video, OM C. Parkin speaks in detail about the question: “What is it that you really want?” and how you can work with it:

If you want to deepen your knowledge about spiritual self-realization, we recommend that you read the following books:

The Awakening of the Sleeping Elephant from OM C. Parkin

Intelligence of Awakening from OM C. Parkin

Overflowing simplicity – From drop to source  from Saritha Wimmer

Sources

Maslow, Abraham H.: Farther Reaches of Human Nature, New York 1971

Jung, C.G.: The Relations between the Ego and the Unconscious (1928). In: Collected Works, Vol. 7. Olten/Freiburg 1974.

Jung, C.G.: Quote taken from Insiderooms (as of June 27, 2024).

Parkin, OM C.: The Birth of the Lion. advaitaMedia 2018, first edition published in 1998 by Lüchow Verlag

Dürckheim, Graf.: Quote taken from Yoga-Vidya Wiki (as of July 1, 2024)