The path through fear – with confidence!

8 min reading time | published on: 21.08.024

Who knows this situation? I wake up in the morning and have a vague, queasy feeling in my stomach; then they appear: threatening worlds and scenarios, life seems like a hostile place and the bed is so nice and warm and safe. The first self-doubts are not long in coming, combined with fears – fear of closeness, fear of people, fear of relationships. I would prefer to stay in bed, feeling insecure and small – but it’s no use. So out into the hostile world!

Anxiety seems to be a frequent companion for almost everyone. We feel bullied by it, try to overcome it or block it out, and basically we just want to get rid of it. Fear is unpleasant, intense and brings us so inevitably into contact with weakness and loss of control that we prefer to run away from it.

Dealing with fear

Dealing with fear is a difficult chapter – because how are we supposed to deal with something that we don’t really know? And we don’t know it because we are on the run, fear is breathing down our necks, but we want to escape it. First of all, we need to pause for a moment to understand fear and take a closer look at the “fear system”.

In the teachings of the spiritual Enneagram, fear is not described as a pure feeling that we openly perceive in our hearts, but as a system of fear avoidance. What we commonly perceive as fear is basically ‘the fear of fear’.

Fear: the escape from reality

from OM C. Parkin

OM C. Parkin opens our eyes to what we have turned our backs on in our flight and recommends radically questioning the existing, learned concept of fear. This includes approaching fear with a beginner’s mind and exploring it completely anew and in the now according to the rules of self-exploration.

The rabbit sitting paralyzed in front of the snake describes this inner state quite aptly. While our thoughts may go crazy, we imagine alternatives or evasive movements, act quickly in order to somehow keep busy, a paralyzing paralysis develops inside us. The periphery is in motion, while our inner self sits rigidly in front of the snake. You could say: we freeze fear. We freeze it in order to prevent it from spreading and taking us over completely – just like when we were a child and trembled with fear.

Closeness and distance: an attitude of ambivalence

How can fear start to flow again? First of all, it is essential to take a close look at our ambivalence between closeness and distance. Yes, we feel the desire to unfold, to leave our old security and become more courageous in order to get closer to life, love, new experiences and ultimately ourselves. But we also want to avoid the fear and uncertainty that this living closeness brings with it. We would prefer to be free without having to leave our secure world. And our so-called “inner critic” whispers many good arguments in our ear as to why it is better to stay away from risk and stick with the familiar.

Distancing ourselves from everything that frightens us appears to us time and again as a medicine against the “illness” of fear. But it is distancing that creates anxiety. The fact that anxiety takes on pathological traits in the form of panic attacks, anxiety states, phobias and much more is not an expression of our excessive closeness to anxiety – as one might think at first glance – but of the fact that we distance ourselves, feel like victims of anxiety and allow it to be overpowering and separate from us. It needs Kräfte Forces from our soul, from our hearts in order to be able to approach fear and restore it to a natural, flowing state.

Courage as a remedy

“Courage and fear are sometimes seen in a contradictory relationship. The courageous person appears to be free of fear or at least less burdened by feelings of fear. This idea does not correspond to psychological reality: fear and anxiety are not incompatible states of mind with courage, but on the contrary are components in the tension between responsible courage. They contrast with each other, but are not mutually exclusive; they complement each other. “**

This statement picks up on the fallacy of an old “hero myth” in which the brave hero performs his heroic deeds without fear and instead full of courage. This ideal of courage as a state in which fear is supposed to have been completely overcome (i.e. disappeared) has deep roots in our world of conviction. Also in the

Teachings of the Enneagram points out that ignoring fear creates a false heroism that is cut off from the heart and humanity. Fear is, in its essence, a naturally limiting force that teaches us respect and reverence, not least for death and its authority. So when we block out fear for an image of strength and courage, we suffer from high courage and disrespect and live from false strength that comes at a cost.

The path back to the self

from Sandra Maitri

According to its original sources, the impressive map of the Enneagram reveals the manifold levels of reality in all its facets. In this book, Sandra Maitri, the well-known author of “Nine Portraits of the Soul – The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram”, delves deeper into the multifaceted subject of the Enneagram. For the first time, she focuses comprehensively and in detail on the passions and corresponding virtues that naturally come to light in the process of individual development and unfolding.

I am afraid

Who is ready for this simple confession? Is it possibly more courageous to feel fear than to deny fear? To approach fear than to distance oneself? True courage is a virtue of the heart, through which we feel the inner willingness to move WITH fear towards a goal, to face the obstacles that test us, and to keep moving through our fear rather than overcoming it. Courage is also a remedy for our self-doubt, because while it awakens and aligns our inner strength, doubt shatters and pulverizes everything alive and uncertain in us, and thus also our flow of strength. It is not a new insight that it is courageous to both acknowledge fear and to approach it gently and let heroic ideals go in return. And yet it is a narrow gate for us when we actually stand in front of it.

How can we regain trust?

“Obviously you are missing something that allows you to settle down and surrender. This something is called trust. Can you surrender to fear without trust? Where is your trust?…When you take the time to feel your heart, you discover that trust is not a lost quality in you. It’s always been there, but it’s your responsibility to take that moment of feeling presence with yourself and uncover it. “*

So we regain our trust by uncovering it. We don’t even have to learn to trust, because we already trust. It is simply essential to discover WHO we trust. Trust is entirely up to us and we can ask ourselves: Do I trust my fears and doubts, my anxieties and what I have already experienced and cast into the future as a huge projection that cannot be overlooked?

Or do I trust in God, even if I don’t really know who God is? Do I trust in myself, even though I am a person with shadows and limitations? Do I trust love, even if it sometimes brings pain and disappointment? Do I trust an authority, even if it sets limits to my self-will?

Who do I trust, WITH fear?

Reference in the text:

*OM C. Parkin: “Fear – The escape from reality”, advaitaMedia

**Siegbert A. Warwitz: “The contrasting virtues of fear and courage. From the search for meaning in risk.” Schneider Verlag Hohengehren

Recommended reading on the subject:

Sandra Maitri: The path back to the self

OM C. Parkin: Eye to eye with yourself